Well, a lot has happened these past couple of months. Good things of course. Things that I never imagined happening any time soon. Things that have made me the happiest person alive with out expecting it. Have you ever had one of those moments where you catch your self smiling at pretty much anything and then realize you look like a retard doing it. Or when you're singing and trying to always see the positive in everything more than usual? Well I can actually say that happens. It doesn't just happen in the movies or in a country song. Obviously it had to have happened to someone before shooting or recording a song about it. So many examples floating around in my head that I don't exactly know how to choose one. Anyways, yes yes I have met someone. Yes I said SOMEONE and not their actual name. Thing is, it happened when I least expected it and after so much time of dating the d-bags and what I like to call "experiments" I was finally able to make a good decision. I guess I can actually say that I learned from my mistakes. Thing is some times you feel like you can't help but doubt if it's still headed in a good direction. You try to show the best in you 24/7 and you try to read their minds more than usual. You can't help but feel like your heart is melting and spreading out all through your body until it hits the bottom pit of your stomach and you realize that you are a goner. This is the part that everyone so desperately wants to feel yet gets scared as hell because at this point its where you start making dumb decisions and you become completely vulnerable. In my case I try extra hard not to show it. I haven't really felt this way in a long ass time...so weird that someone can remind you exactly how weak you can become. How much you can accomplish when you have your mind set. All of a sudden you want to wear bright colors and you don't care if you are alone in a theater because you know someone out there is thinking about you at that very moment. Reality is, that as much as a tough front we may put at times, we are always the soft and slippery and gooey human beings inside that can easily be broken and teared.And just as that is real the risk of giving away your heart to someone is real as well. Some times those risks are worth taking. I hope this time it's different.
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