You might be wondering what the hell does the title of this post mean. Well, have you ever felt so frustrated by the love that you feel for someone that you don't know how to express your self? Not even on paper? That is exactly what I mean. Today I realized...or more like 5 minutes ago, that I feel stuck in how I would like to write down what I am feeling this very second. I know how I feel yet I can't seem to word it. It's as if you are having one of those dreams where you are running away from the monster and the more you try to run the slower your steps become and your throat starts to get dry and no words can make you run faster as they get closer and closer. Of course you always wake up right when they are about to grab you or stab you. Which ever you prefer. Point is, you run out of words to say exactly how you feel.
Right now, I feel so happy yet so sad at the same time. Feeling like a tornado, with it's hot and cold air combining into one. Hoping it too wont end up like a catastrophe. Feeling happy every time I see him and every moment I spend with him yet knowing that every moment is timed and that time is never enough. Parting is just like having your long beautiful hair shaven off. You know it will grow back but it feels forever before it does. Thing is you can't help but feel that you are not appreciated or missed. Knowing they don't feel the same kind of makes you wonder what you are doing wrong. Why are you not able to have someone feel something for you? Reality is, you don't know if they ever will and you are killing your self, pouring your self and striving to prove to them, why they should love you back.
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