Sunday, December 1, 2013

Say Something, I'm Giving Up On You

Have you ever had the lyrics of a song connect with you so vividly and so right that it shakes your core and your mind to the point where as soon as you hear the lyrics you begin to cry because it reminds you how much pain you experienced at some point and how every word is the exact thing you once thought? I can honestly say I have.
Even though I can completely, honestly say right now that I am happy where I am in life right now, I heard Say Something by "A Great Big World" and it reminded me of a place in life where I thought I was happy, most of the time, only to realize that I was miserable with a person who made me feel like I was not worth anything. He was embarrassed to be seen with me, literally pushed me away when I would try to hold his hand because I was cold, who broke my heart when he told me he never meant anything he ever told me. I literally gave everything I could possibly give of my self to put a smile on his face. I came to the point where I gave up and felt my world crashing down because I knew that the one person who I had given my whole being to, didn't want me. Why? I still don't know to this day. I don't know what I did wrong. As much as I loved him, I swallowed my pride and said goodbye. My reality was that I could never be with him because he would never be capable of loving me. Maybe he did and he was just to scared to admit it. Regardless of the pain and the heartache I feel when I hear this song, I can reflect on the present and see that I have someone good in front of me. I have someone who WILL say something, who will fight for me. Someone who I can honestly say I'm falling for because he has made me feel like the most amazing human being on earth. He holds me and looks at me like I'm the only one in the room. I am so blessed to have him in my life and knowing that I had to wait 10 years just to feel this way, is worth the wait. Maybe I had to feel heartache for a reason to know and appreciate the good when I came across it. My boyfriend is the best boyfriend someone could ever have. Babe, I'm sorry if I have ever made you angry or have over reacted at some point. I know I have and might at some point in the future, but know I will always make it up to you. I'm not going anywhere.


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