What I wish hadn't happened

Today I realized something...that I love someone more than I have loved any one before. I got in a fight with my boyfriend, and the feeling of it made me so angry at my self for letting this fight happen. I felt responsible for the way this weekend went. The only time I get with my boyfriend ended with us fighting when all should have happened was us being together and happy and I can't help but feeling like it was my fault. I wish I could take it back. He is the best thing that has happened to me and because of me not being able to control my anger, the last day I had with him this weekend went to hell. I don't want him to realize that I am not who he doesn't want to be with. I am scared that he will wake up one morning not thinking of me and thinking that I am not who he wants to be with. I don't want to let him down.